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People like sheep led astray [May. 18th, 2010|05:09 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

After my day at the bar yesterday and 2 episodes of wifeswap I was thinking about people... being so easily confused and believe things they think are nessisary when... they aren't.

But then there's no way to avoid it... everyone has been led astray from what is real and true. Not that we ever knew in the first place completely. I know I have... sometimes I realize what it was and change it when that Dr. Phil voice in my head says "and how's that workin for ya?" and I say "Not so good Dr. Phil"... but I hate when people don't realize it just cuz their stubborn. Or that they have to get so angry about their opinions... not even just politics but even taste in music. That things have to be so black or white... metaphors taken seriously and literal statemens taken metaphorically... religion being corrupted forcing people to be alienated or controlled and politics... media... conspiracy theories...

Hate causing arguments, distrust, lying, stealing, selfishness, and mind games that poke and prod at people's soul a chip at a time.

What happened to love and curiosity? It's hard to hold on to, but I do my best. I know I had more when I was young... everything was so new and my mind was open, the uncarved block. And really, I think that's what the diciples were saying when they said we like sheep have all gone astray... astray from our childlike state of openness and love... but if God is love and love is our shepard then we wouldn't do all of this harm to eachother. Not that Christians need to be dumb sheep without minds of their own like many of them are... shit I question everything, it's in our nature to do so and have thoughts of our own why deny that? Why deny others? Why even put down others in anger if they're not true? I think it's fun to contemplate other points of view.. try em on... might not keep them but it's fun. HOLY SHIT MY MOM JUST GOT CINNABON CEREAL AND I AM GOING TO EAT IT!!! cinnabon... cereal... what? it has to be delish!

I see this friend who I haven't seen since highschool. She was always losing a few of her marbles here and there but she's really got to gather them now... speaking of people led astray. She's one of those people who I feel could be on that show intervention. She wouldn't go home (probably because her family is worried about her due to her prior drug and terrible people experiences and it being so late... what do you thing they'd assume happened?) and wanted to be dropped off at an abandoned house... I wrote her a letter on Facebook because I didn't know what else to do... someone needs to tell her like it is. Might as well be me. Here it is:

Hey (friends name),
Understand that I really care about you and your well being. I’ve known you for a long time, I may not have been the closest of friends but I’ve known you well enough to know that you’re a good person somewhere in there. You’ve let people bring you down paths in life where you didn’t need to be and you say “I’m used to it” even though you know it’s not right. I don’t know if you’re still on crazy drugs or if your past experiences have just changed you, but I know something is wrong with you right now that’s taking a hold on the real you inside.
Honestly I was scared to say you could come home with me after hearing that you’ve stolen from Nick, and Jill saying he pushed you out of his house (I know him and he doesn’t just do that to people… it’s Nick). I don’t know if it’s true, I’m not saying it is, but I am saying I was hesitant because it could be after what you’ve been through and seen and that will teach you things… and definitely (her boyfriend's name)’s stealing influence is especially what made me hesitant. I truly want to be there to help you, but I don’t know if I can if you are no good for me to be around. Not that you want help anyways. You wouldn’t even let me take you home after I decided you needed someone to lean on (me, a chick friend that only cared about your well being) but you let a guy take you home (not that I don’t like Dean… he’s really cool… but I know what guys want when they take someone home and so do you).
Only bums and drug addicts stay in abandoned houses. That you’d rather me drop you off there than take you back with me or put up with your parents really makes me wonder. Maybe it’s just that your parents have tried to get you away from the terrible things in your life that have been taking you down horrible paths like crazy drugs, bad people, and bad boy-situations. Maybe they feel helpless at this point, like they can’t even help you because they’ve tried in their own way, so why not call the authorities on you if you need professional help and have warrants. (her boyfriend's name) dropped you off at that abandoned house, but he also beat you and treats you like shit and he’s a drug addict too (friend's name). A fucked up drug addict you don’t need in your life right now he’s no good and you’re addicted to that too.

What you need is to just chill. It’s summer. Get away from everyone and find yourself without getting fucked up I don’t think you even need any alcohol or weed or especially any man. Go for walks in beautiful weather and enjoy the simple things in life for a moment. Allow your mind to contemplate what it needs to and enjoy the scenery of having flowers and leaves on trees. There’s beauty in small things that are calm too, and seeing that would be an awesome change from the drama that seems to have ensued your life for a moment. I love going for walks if you want company and someone to talk to.

I’m obviously not saying I won’t hang out with you again, because I will. Just know I want to take you back to your own house if I’m picking you up. And obviously I’m not one to judge people harshly, I’ve just noticed you feel helpless to change the things in your life that need it… and I’m letting you know like a good friend should… so please don’t take all this the wrong way. If I didn’t give a shit I’d leave you wherever last night and not be writing you this right now, so please don’t hesitate to confide in me again I care about you.

<3 Bonnie

It's so weird when your old friends have seriously spiraled downward into you don't even know what. Crazy shit like heroin. That shit'll fuck up your brain. Her boyfriend is a woman beating lowlife heroin addict and she's "used to it". She's "used to" people using her for her ______, money, and stealing from her... I won't even go into her stories but damn she needs to get away from people. If that was what I saw in my lifetime I would just read books. Fuck the real world if that's what it was.